Let’s have a little chat about menopause. I’m 53 and smack in the middle of the perimenopausal phase. And you know what? It's turning out to be quite an eye-opening journey. Menopause is one of those things that, for a long time, hasn’t really been talked about in a positive light. But here’s the thing - it’s just another part of life. It’s not something to get all worked up about. It’s not inherently good or bad; it just is.
So what exactly is menopause? Simply put, menopause is a natural biological process that marks the end of a woman’s menstrual cycles. Officially, menopause is the moment when you've not had a menstrual period for 12 consecutive months. It's that specific point in time that confirms you're moving to a new stage in life. The stretch of time leading up to menopause is known as perimenopause, and it's quite the prelude—lasting up to a decade! This phase typically starts between 45 and 55 years of age, although it's got a timetable of its own and can start earlier or later. On average, women in the UK wave goodbye to their menstrual cycle around the age of 55, ushering in the post-menopause phase of their lives.
What happens to our bodies during this time of change? As we approach the end of our child-bearing days, our bodies start to adjust the production of hormones like oestrogen and progesterone, the very hormones that have been the conductors of our menstrual symphony for years and years. This natural shift is the body's way of turning the page, preparing us for a new chapter where the monthly rhythms of fertility slow to a stop.
While these changes do bring about what we know as menopause symptoms, they're not just random occurrences; they're signposts of an incredible process that's winding down one role to clear the stage for another. It’s a bit like the changing of the guard, an orchestrated transition that allows us to step into an era of freedom and new possibilities. And, though these symptoms may seem challenging, they remind us that our bodies are equipped with the strength and adaptability to move into this phase with a certain grace and vitality.
“What we resist, persists” Carl Jung
Carl Jung was onto something with this quote and it's a bit of a mantra for us, especially during this perimenopause muddle and beyond. As these hormones start to do the cha-cha, deciding they've had enough of the regular beats, it might throw us a hot flush or a mood swing. It's their way of telling us things are changing and rather than stomping our feet to the old rhythm, it's time we learn the new steps.
So, here's the thing: if we brace ourselves against these changes, arms crossed, lips pursed, we might just find that the hot flushes get hotter and the moods swing wider. But if we open those arms, chuckle, and say, 'Alright then, let’s see what you've got,' we might just find it all a bit easier to handle. It's about welcoming these changes, not as intruders, but as guests that won’t overstay their welcome. After all, 'this too shall pass'.
And with each symptom that pops up to say hello, we remember it's not a permanent guest; it's just passing through. So, we take a deep breath, pour another cuppa and smile at the thought that with a bit of acceptance, we can handle anything - even a dance with our ever-changing hormones.
The image of menopause in today’s UK society can be pretty grim. The general view tends to focus on the negative aspects - hot flushes, mood swings, brain fog, loss of libido, sleep disturbances and so on. It's often portrayed as a kind of decline, or an end to femininity and vitality, which is not only misleading but also downright unfair. This negative image can make the thought of menopause quite daunting for many.
“Be grateful for your highs and graceful with your lows” George Pransky
Here’s a thought: why not approach menopause with a spirit of curiosity and openness? Why not find the humour, the learning opportunities and yes, even the joy in it?
Stay in the moment
As a Mindfulness and Compassion Coach, I’m all about the present moment; the here and now. Enjoying the little things that make life beautiful. Whether it’s getting lost in a good book, sharing laughs with friends or savouring a warm cup of tea or enjoying the sound of rain on the roof, being present can help us move through this phase with grace.
Lean on your mates
Talking with friends who understand what you’re going through can be incredibly comforting. It’s a chance to share tips, offer support and yes, have a moan together when needed. There’s strength in solidarity.
Keep Learning
Understanding what’s happening to our bodies demystifies the process and makes it less intimidating. Knowledge empowers us to make informed decisions about how to manage symptoms and maintain our wellbeing. Join a Facebook menopause support group or a local menopause cafe. And if you can't find one, start one! I'm sure there will be plenty of women wanting to join.
Love Your Body
Our bodies are doing their best through all these changes. Finding activities that make us feel good - like swimming, dancing or walking - helps us celebrate our bodies for what they are capable of right now. Appreciating and accepting our bodies, flaws and all, help the process.
Positive Nudges
A little self-encouragement can go a long way. Starting the day with affirmations can set a positive mindset for the day ahead. Write your own or try some of these suggestions;
· “I’ve got this”
· “Today, I choose joy”
· "I embrace change with optimism"
· "I am at peace with my body's wisdom"
· "This day is full of potential and so am I"
· "I carry strength and serenity within me"
Menopause is indeed a significant change, but it’s not the end of the road. Far from it. With a bit of humour, acceptance, a willingness to learn and the support of friends, this phase can be one of growth, discovery and happiness. Let’s change the conversation around menopause and move through this stage of life with laughter, learning and plenty of (herbal) tea. Cheers!
I am running a weekly Mindfulness for Menopause Course starting on 25th April for six weeks.
Full details can be found here.
Full details of my relaxing and nurturing Mindfulness for Menopause Day Retreat can be found here.
I am also a moderator and expert contributor to the Facebook Group Thrive - Meno...pausing to Thrive (part of the Thrive - Women Living Their Best Lives)
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